literature

Flickering Flames - Prologue

Deviation Actions

Unknown-Variable's avatar
Published:
211 Views

Literature Text

Candle light flickered off the stone walls of her room, casting shadows and light over a young lady's figure. The dark of night meant sleep for many, but the Silver One found herself restless with a pounding headache and her stomach filled with anxious, unknown urgency. She lay in her small bed, a scroll unraveled on her lap. The ink stains were familiar to her; she had studied and studied the scripture for hours. It was never a chore for her. Such familiarity was a comfort. She thumbed the torn corner of the scroll, and stared upwards. The letters danced on the ceiling.

"Before Lejos and Gangur," the Silver One murmured to herself. "Before the Unmoving Sky and the Unyielding  Earth. Before anything, there were the Deities." She sighed, eyes closing, aching head comforted on the fluffy pillow. "My Ninen Moi'Rai and nyr love, Ninen Kre'Za."

The names echoed through the room, and the Silver One breathed them in. She knew these stories by heart. "My Ninen Moi'Rai tired of the unending darkness, tired of the nothingness that existed outside of nyr and nyr love. And so ni created the World. Ni filled it with nyr good-will, and it prospered. Ni created the Unmoving Sky and the Unyielding Earth." With a slight smile, she held her arms out. As if she spoke to an awed crowd instead of the moth that flitted about her candle's flame. "Ni created us. And ni loves us as ni loved the Nienen Kre'Za."

The moth flew too close to the flame, singed itself and retreated. "But Nienen Kre'Za grew jealous of Ninen Moi'Rais' devotion to us mortals. How could ni spare such emotion for beings who dwell so shortly in a world when Ninen Moi'Rai had nim?" The candle's flame sputtered as a gentle breeze drifted through the Silver One's open window. "Kre'Za came to us. Ni disguised nimself in strange shapes and lies. Nir will was of deceit. Nir heart was a void." The moth hesitated, and rode the breeze to the light. "Nir pranks were not harmless. Nir victims were many."

The breeze died and the flame flared to life. The Silver One moved, then, hand between it and the hapless moth. "But my Ninen Moi'Rai intervened. Ni did not allow nyr love for Ninen Kre'ze to cloud nyr mind. What Ninen Kre'Za did was wrong. And so ni saved us." The Silver One rose from bed, scroll falling from her lap and onto the floor. In her hand was the moth. Its small body pushed against her fingers. Hands outside the window, she released the creature, and watched as it flew away.

It was a chilly night. So close to the mountains meant winter's cold bullied its way into earlier months. In her nightdress, she shivered, and gulped down several breaths of air. It favored her throbbing head, numbing the pain. The Sanctum was quiet. Fayview at the base of the mountain was quiet. The Silver One fancied herself the only one awake. Time to put the stories away and join them in blissful sleep.

Closing the window, she picked up the scroll, crawled back into bed. "And so ni saved us," the Silver One repeated as she rolled it up, "and banished nim." She blew out the candle, and pulled the blankets around her. The last she saw was the moonlight, red bright and shining, through her window and pouring onto the ground like spilt blood.
HI SO YES.

WOULD ANYONE BE INTERESTED IN A STORY THAT HAS BASICALLY AN ALL QUEER CAST, CANON LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP AS WELL AS NON-BINARY AND TRANS GENDER IDENTITIES BEING NORMAL? A STORY NOT ABOUT QUEER PEOPLE BEING QUEER BUT ABOUT QUEER PEOPLE KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES ALL WHILE NOT ERASING, MOCKING, OR OTHERWISE BEING RUDE TO THOSE WHO IDENTIFY OUTSIDE OF THE IDEA OF A CISNORMATIVE HETERONORMATIVE GENDER AND SEXUAL BINARY???

WELL...
I AM ATTEMPTING THAT. 

Flickering Flames follows the young Silver One Kaiden as she ventures Lejos on her first pilgrimage as she attempts to keep the religious leader of their country, Alainna the Golden One, safe from an old prophecy of doom. Accompanied by twins Kerin and Troi Lightfoot, her personal guard Bretton Stonewall, and a young bard simply named Minstrel, they travel across Lejos, fighting monsters, bandits, assassins, and other strange things from the legends of deities Moi'Rai and Kre'Za. As they travel, Kaiden learns there is more to the legends than what she has just read in scrolls.


Yes, shut up I'm doing the prophecy thing.
THERE IS NO CHOSEN ONE ONLY THE GOLDEN ONE AND SILVER ONE
comment, maybe? Lemme know how it is and any questions you might have?
Thanks!!
© 2014 - 2024 Unknown-Variable
Comments6
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
sd-campbell's avatar
To start, this is an interesting piece. The work is fairly clean, though a bit stumbling with the language, but that to be expected in a high fantasy, I suppose. It certainly does sweep the reader into the narrative and sets up for a longer work on the subject.

I have to ask, how much time has been spent building the world? It seems well put together, so I would imagine that it's more than just spur of the moment creations.

In fact, the only thing that concerns me is the mission statement in the description. Not because I'm opposed to it, but because it seems rather unnecessary. While the relationships of the characters are important, they are only important insofar as the story requires them to be, are they not?

As I said, though, I don't have a problem with the direction you want to take your story, but I think that to limit it at the outset like that would be to narrow the scope of the story rather than allow it to leave and breathe as its own work. Not that there is anything wrong with the idea, I just think from a writer's perspective that it would be entirely too restrictive. Or, perhaps, I'm reading your statement wrong or your statement is worded in a way that you didn't intend.